Turning the page

Recently had a very sole searching talk with a friend at work. The conversation may have been a short one, but it  prompted many deep thoughts from me about myself. It took me back to my roots of becoming who I am today, or who I might have became had I decided to make the left turn instead of the right turn at various junctures in my life. 

I guess over these last few years, I have forgotten the path that got me where I am now. I have gotten complacent! I have become unrealistic and expect certain events to turn my way where I have no valid reasons to have such expectation. Throughout my life, I have to work extra hard to achieve the simplest of my goals. No one was ever there to lend me a hand, or pick me up when I have fallen on hard times. My survival instinct is my only natural skill I called upon to navigate the treacherous waters. Basically, I evolved and adapt to my new environment. I have gotten soft.

My history stretch back to when I was sent to boarding school at a young age of 8 far away from my parents. Difficult decisions were made solely by my tender mind. I learned from my mistakes and I have to learn them quick or face harsh consequences of emotional distress. It took me quite a while to get through those difficult and challenging period but I did and I thrive afterward. Along the way, I have made my many friends who, I know I can count on. 

 Fast forward 30 years to now, and here I am, facing my foe again. I will conquer this demon yet again. I will and I have to. I have done it before, I will do it again.